[quotes]

Jake: "I'd like to keep my jugular in one piece....the same goes for my carotid artery!

 John: "What's this stuff? It looks like cabbage...only it's purple."

Me: "Umm...It's purple cabbage."

John: ".....oh." 

Sylvia, pointing to my pimples: "Why are these...elbows all over your face?"

 Me: "Don't be a pooty parper!"

Me: "Sam, you wanna start a load of laundry?"

Sam: "um...."

Me: "Cause you're the best sister in the world?"

Sam: "WeeEeeelll...."

 Sam: "Yeah, you're not the....best in the mornings."

Me: "Yay, understatement of the year."

John, groaning: "Take my advice and never play poker for push-ups."

"He's kind of creepy looking...but in a sweet way."

Sam: "I ran over here so I could brush my hair."

Me: "You ran a mile to brush your hair?"

Sam: "......yeah...."

Me: "Is there any coffee left?"

Papa John: "No. Do you want me to make some more?"

Me: *grin* "Yes"

Papa John, with a sigh: "You'd better flutter your eyelashes at me."

Hahaha. *flutters eyelashes*

Sam: "It's the Narth Store, guys!"

Josh, John, me: "Bahahahahahahaha"

Sam: "That wasp is...brushing his eyebrows!!!"

Me: o.O "First of all, wasps don't have eyebrows..."

Sam: "Well, whatever they are."

Me: "Antennae? And secondly, I'm pretty sure they don't brush them..."

Sam: "Yeah, those!"

"I don't try to kill myself, it just...happens!" 

Mom: "That wasn't a nupe! What was it?"

Levi: "It was a skice!"

Mom: "What's your name?"

Levi: "Um...Levi and Weides."

Me: "Bye, Levi and Weides!"

Levi: "Bye, Shaina Shaina Shaina!!"

“There’s a picture on the internet somewhere; I’ve lost the link, it went all 404 on me.” 

“Monica’s in the house making pancakes, she's a the stove, kinda whistling, listening to the Christian radio station, and Augustine and his friend come in and go, “Mom....Mom.... Oh, Moooom.” And she keeps on flipping pancakes, and she’s like, "boys, come get your pancakes." *no answer* "Come on, boys, they're gettin cold." *no answer*  And she turns around and looks at their beaming faces, and Augustine goes, "Mom. Guess. What." and she goes. “No. NO? REALLY?” And then she's bouncing off the ceiling and they have to scrape her off with a spatula. She's disappearing bouncing around in the street going "whoohooowhoohoo!" and everyone says, 'buz off, it's siesta time."

Augustine's status: "Just got converted, lol! This is teh bomb!" -George

“I’ll admit, I have a romantic streak that’s a mile deep and wide in me.” 

“Study question no 1: Hahahahaha, I love saying that *after* break. Stuuudy question no. 1.”

"Here we are, 15 minutes from the end of  class. OK, study question #2!" (note: we actually managed somehow to make it through all the questions! Unbelievable, I know.)

“You guys are a real problem class, you ask all the right questions, the ones that I really have to think about. It’s impossible to stay on track!” 

“It’s a mystery! Quit arguing about it, take and eat some!” 

"Some modern scholars say it started in 412 and ended in 427, but you know modern scholars. Always trying to justify their paycheck." 

“Modern Protestant fundamentalist eschatology is deviant from 2000 years of church history. That doesn’t prove it’s wrong. But I’m a little nervous about a theology that departs from 2000 years of church history.”

“Augustine laughs and laughs, he LOLs, he ROTLs, and then picks himself up off the floor and says, “I’d better write a book to refute that.” ”

"I got my copy of City of God signed at one of Augustine's rock concerts, it had laser lights."  

"I'll have a special class just for this year's GB2B class's students....kids."

"yeah, I know I'm creepy...cool."

"So, as I was saying before I sidetracked myself, it's a regular problem of mine, (the first step to getting rid of it is acknowledging...) see, there I go again!" 

"Yeah, yeah, I am pretty awesome, aren't I? Go ahead, worship me. Bring it." -Daemones.

"As Daniel is praying...wherever. Probably the Potlatch river."

"Aquinas was a throughgoing Augustinian. But so were Luther and Calvin! wut."

"Probably shouldn't, hahahaha, probably shouldn't laugh, hehe."

"Science is lame." -Zachary

"In Schola, all the girls are beautiful, all the guys are handsome, and everyone's above average. .....and smart, too!"

quotes

 Papa John, working cattle: "I got poop on me! *high pitched* I'm gonna diiiie!"

 Mr. B, sitting on our sofa: "You'd have to have a seven foot femur for your feet to be on the ground and your back to be resting on the back of the sofa!" Hhahhahaha...

 Me, at the dinner table: "SLOW CHEWLY!!! 

....What have you guys done to my mind?!?!" 

Samantha, trying to put the hood back on Alyssa's coat: "It's been decapitated!" LOLS.... hahhhahaha. Best pun in a looong time, hahah.  

Me: "Do you know what the first of April is? April Fools Day!" 

Micah: "So that means we get to go to McDonalds and eat all the ice cream we want?!"

Me: "Umm....?"
Micah: "That's what a fool would do!" hahaha

"The Virgin Mary shows up to Constantine in a dream and says, "Um, Nicolas was right. He's my boy. You let him go, or else." 

"If this was a live class, I'd tell you that every time I say Athanasius, you have to say, "Whoohoo!""

"Arias probably made up little ditties to help people remember: "There was a time when Christ was not, my name is Arias and I'm pretty hot."" 

"And then there are the others who committed suicide for other reasons than mere...you know.. bummed out-ness with life." 

"God wins, you lose, good luck, bubba. Now the Christians were probably more charitable and gracious than that, they probably didn't say bubba... unless they said it in the original greek." 

"I'm beating my chest like a Christian." 

"There's a story that Nicolas so fed up with Arias's shenanigans, got tired of debating with words, and just stood up and decked him. Punched his lights out. Gives a whole new meaning to 'Santa Claus is coming to town, so you'd better watch out!' He's gonna find out who's orthodox and heretic."

"Mr. C, you are never sorry about your sidetracks, nor should you be, so just stop apologizing." -Zachary

"I'm going to take the opportunity that Zachary just offered me, and though he opened a small door, I'm going to drive a Mack truck through it."

"Yeah, sorry about that, Zachary. I should have told you to plug your ears before I said 'kindle'." 

"Where'd they get blenders back then? Oh, dont ask. Probably Bed, Bath & Beyond."

"Jonah's sulking because the Ninavites repented, darn it, God's not gonna destroy them, darn it."

"Hahahaha, it's just so hilarious...they riot over the word gourd!"

"Augustine and Jerome are texting each other on their blackberries probably called raspberries back then. 'Darn raspberries, keep getting out of range.' "

"Yeah, however you spell it.. its probably all kindsa ways."

"I never pay attention to what comes out of my mouth. I just start it, and then my brain goes somewhere else. My brain goes, "I'm going to starbucks, you're on your own!"

"Imagine you are, you know...you."

"Hortensius had a daughter that he homeschooled, named Hortensia...some called her Horty, others called her Tense. When she was mad. The guys she broke up with called her "Sia." (C-ya) Get it?"

(From Augustine's pear stealing past) "You could call it pear pressure'. Ahahahaha"
"Wasn't expecting to be pun-ished in that way, dad. I pear-ished inside." George

"Skinny jeans on Metrosexual worship leaders.NOO. Just...wear overalls. Or a robe!
Jackets and slacks....you know, comb your hair..no?...ooohkay."

"Monica doesn't have all her theological ducks in a row. She's a few fries short of a happy meal theologically. But shes a wonderful mother and Christian."

"So why do you guys have a different picture on the front of your book? Penguin upgraded? Darn their hides."

"How easy would it be to jump around in the Bible with a scroll? It's like 'wait, lemme unroll the right side while I roll up the left side!' Church would be chaos. Christians flip!"

"You're staring into the eyes of your love....and then they hold out a hanky and, 'HONK.' " 

[quotes!!]

"Today's February twenty-oneth, right? -Micah
Haha, yep, the twenty oneth. 

Sam: "If someone mugs me, I will be too weak to fight back."
Mom: "Just throw up on them."

"I put the 'fun' in 'fundamentalism'." -Dad, haha.

 "The less the lerrier!" -Micah

 Josiah: "I felt the fingerknobs!" (knuckles)

During 20 Questions: I had earlier said "celebrity" and then explained to the kids what that was.
Josiah: "Is he a persecutionist?"
Me: "What?" 
Joe: "A, whatever Shaina said." (celebrity) hahahhahaha.

Levi: "What's this?"
Me: "Makeup."
Levi: "Makeup? I love makeup!"

Weider: "Me too!"
Dad: "Don't be a Weider."

Levi, at the meal prayer: "I love you, but I don't want to hold your hand." 

Micah, after our neighbors brought us some food while my parents were gone: "Why are they bringing us lunch?"
Sylvia: "So we can survive, Micah!!

Me: "You can have the other earbuddy."
Sam: "I love it! I'm gonna make it a favorite quote."

"You need to do school. What are you waiting for?"
"Motivation."
"Hmm..you wanna watch a movie with me?"

Sam, answering the phone: "Hello?"
Grandma: "Hello Samantha, is Grandma there? No! I mean, this IS Grandma!"

Micah: "I don't like any fajitas except for Mrs B's!!"
Sylvia: "What are you talking about, Micah? These things are awesome, man!!"

"And Paul's sermon is getting looonger and loonger, and then all of a sudden, "Plunk!" the guy falls off the window ledge, and Paul's like, "I knew I should have stuck to my notes. Fine, I'll bring him back to life." "

"It's like, The Landmark Eusebius! It should have some pages that when you open them up, a city pops up and goes 'boingk!'"

"...Ireaneas (who's name means Mister Peaceful).."

"They said, 'Victor, sit down and take a chill pill. Have some more chicken mcnuggets."
"Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, unless the baby is a heretic." -Vincent

[quotes]

Micah: "Can I wear your boots?"
Me: "Yes, but don't tear them up. Or leave them out. Or scuff em up."
"Ok!"
"Or go outside in them."
"Rats."

"Mom, next time will you get me some troughlets?"

Wit has been a constant in our house for three and a half years. He is Levi's very favorite blanket. The other day he asked me if I liked Wit. I said yes, and asked him the same question. He said yes, and I said, "How much?" He paused for a few seconds and said, "About fourteen." Hehehe :) 

Me: "Your unders are on backwards, Levi!: 
Weiders: "Nu-uh!!"
Me: "Yes, what's in back should be in front, and what's in front should be in back."
Levi: "Rats." 


Sam: "You know what I've always wondered? Actually...I just wondered it yesterday."
Me: BAhahahahahaha...
Sam: "Shut up."


Sam: "Wouldn't that be sooo weird?"
Me. "Yeah. You know what would be weirder?" 
"What?"
".....I don't know! I was hoping I could think of something weirder by the time you responded. Hahahaha." 


Sam: "Is today thursday?"
Me: "Friday."
Sam: "Wooow, this week has gone by like a wooberhop!" 
-__-


Annnd, Mr C quotes!

"They're like, "You're gonna fight bulls." *double take* "I'm gonna fight WHAT?" "You hear me. Get in there." 

Romans: "You rebels!" Jews: "Oh, no, we're perfectly submissive, we just ran out of sheep." 

Talking about using boiling oil as a defensive weapon: "Just makes you wanna.... "Hey, mom, where's your deep fat frier?" "What do you need it for, honey?" "Oh, nothing, nothing!" 

"He had four sons, most of whom were putzes....ok, all of them were putzes. Kingly putzes, but still putzes." 

"Can't hardly turn around without trippin' over some pagan philosophy that believes in the immortality of the soul..." 


"The Jews did not have proper surrender etiquette! HAVEN'T YOU READ YOUR EMILY POST?!?!?! 'When surrendering, fold your napkin to the left..'" 


"They look to me like movie cameras....ancient holy movie cameras from the holy of holies..." 


"History is a messy place, and I'm generalizing all over the place.." 


"I'm in too good a mood to worry about things like multiple popes." 


"Of course, we can always disagree about whether the church is being guided or just stupid..." 


"Protestants back away from the sign of the cross....they think it's superstitious or something. They probably cross themselves against the sign of the cross." 


"YOU are bound by tradition!! Aha! Aha! Ahaha!" 


"That's why I love you so much, Zachary, cause you're material, God bless you." Lol..

[response paragraph]

This is my response paragraph for this week's assignment in Great Books. We're reading Josephus right now, The Jewish War. It's a really great book. Just a note: the Zealots was a gang of Jews that grabbed power in the city, and just went hog wild there. The atrocities that went on in there were soo bad, a lot of the Jews deserted to the Romans, gave themselves up as slaves to get away from what was going on in the city. The only problem with that is that you were risking your life just by trying to leave the city, if you were caught leaving, they would kill you and leave your body outside the city walls. It was a bloodbath, extreme internal dissension. 

{response paragraph}

I was really struck this week by the disintegration of things in Jerusalem. It was so easy, nobody resisted. I think there were many people who opposed it, but for some reason didn't do anything publicly. They just let it happen. They gave power to the evil men through "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." This quote is often attributed to Thomas Burke, but in reality the author is unknown. However, it very accurately describes the conditions there in Jerusalem. Ananus gives a very moving speech to the same affect, shortly after the Zealots seized the Temple, saying, "You are plundered without a protest, beaten without a murmur, witnesses of murder without one audible groan.....Wasn't it you who shut your eyes when the gang was first formed-a mere handful then-encouraged its growth by your silence, and by standing idly by while they were arming turned those arms against yourselves?.....you yourselves built every one of the steps by which these sacrilegious wretches have climbed so insolently; do not grumble if they have reached the top." What I've taken away from this? Don't stand by and watch evil form. Not in your country, not in your heart, your personal life. Don't feed a bad habit or a sinful activity by ignoring it. Deal with it, confess it, kill it.

My best friend and me.

[porch light?]

The boys are giggling profusely in their bedroom as I clean up the kitchen. I notice that the scraps are overflowing.
Flashbackward to about two and a half hours ago: "Micah, take out the scraps please," I say from the kitchen. "Just a minute," he replies. "Micah! How do you ask?" "Can I please finish reading this?" Me: "..yes.. if you hurry."
Flashpresent. Giggling boys. Overflowing scraps. Me: "Micah, come here and take out the scraps!" He comes into the kitchen saying, "I *did* take out the scraps!" "No you didn't. They're overflowing." "Well, I don't remember not taking out the scraps!"
After scrambling around looking for coveralls (he was only wearing a pullup) and shoes, he's ready to depart. But there's a problem. His headlamp apparently has dead batteries, just like everything else in this house. =D He runs over to put it back and look for another one. "Micah? Why don't you use the porch light?" I say. "Porch light?" he repeats incredulously. I answer, "Mmhmm." Looking at me with 'that' look on his face, he says, "No."
Headlamps are apparently much more thrilling than porch lights.

And there he is, the little heartbreaker. Look at him.
Just look at him!

Shaina